RELATIONSHIPS, ABSENCE AND TIME

Events of the past few months have left me reflecting, if it’s possible to renew friendships and relationships, after a long time apart. I find it’s difficult for me to fully reconnect with someone, after they have been gone from my life for a very long time. In the past year, I have had a few people from my past pop back into my life, after a considerable period of time away. (like years) Some of them have been overseas, others in another city. I am not a big social media person, so in the beginning I would try to keep in touch via email. Life is busy for everyone though, and one day you suddenly realize that a substantial amount of time has elapsed. Eventually the thought occurs to you, that you have lost touch with an individual.

At that point, you may decide to try to make contact again or just let things stand. The thing with absence is; if too much time has passed, you sometimes cannot get back on the same page, or even wish to. Let’s face it – life is about learning and evolving. If you haven’t seen or spoken to someone for many years, there is sometimes the expectation that you are that exact same person they knew all those years ago. I use the analogy…“they sometimes expect you to be standing on the train platform and never getting on the train.” Most of us are not still on that train platform…especially if you are no longer in your youth. We have taken many journeys. A lot of life and growth has taken place for us to get to this place where we are now. Some of those journeys have been pleasant, and others, not so much. These experiences may now affect how we view life. Some of them, we may not wish to share, because in so doing, we once again have to re-visit that painful period of our lives.

I know there are stories of people who have reconnected after years or even decades apart, and renewed friendships or fallen in love. However, it can be challenging to sustain such a relationship – friendship or otherwise, after such a long passage of time. Sometimes there is resentment that this person was not around for very difficult periods of your life. Then, they suddenly re-appear and seemingly expect things to just fall back to a simpler place and time. When going through a vulnerable period in your life, revisiting your past may seem to be a blessing at that moment. It’s human nature to want to return to a more carefree time and to be around people with whom we are well acquainted. But you may soon discern, as mentioned previously, that there has just been too many life experiences, in the intervening years to ever ‘go back’ and expect that same kinship you once had. Nevertheless; I do understand that it is possible for some people.

Friendships (relationships of all sorts) should be cherished because it is not that easy to find people who really ‘gets you’ in this world. People you can have a conversation with which instantly takes you back to a memory you may have long forgotten. A conversation where you can reach back in time in your mind’s eye, and rediscover long-lost recollections of days gone by. The ease of that kind of bond is a beautiful thing, not ever to be taken for granted. But; as the saying goes – ‘some people come into your life for a season, and some for a lifetime.’ I suppose it is up to each of us to differentiate between the two.