LIFE’S EXPECTATIONS

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When I was around 17 years old and on the verge of adulthood, I envisioned that life as I grew older would get so much easier. I am not insinuating that my childhood was bad…I was just eager to grow up and have complete autonomy of my life. I wanted to be more in control of my destiny and I felt becoming an adult would enable me to do so. I looked forward to being independent and making my own decisions. I think I saw my 20’s especially, and possibly early 30’s, as being some sort of utopia in which I was totally free. My parents tried their best to prepare their kids for adulthood, but only your own experiences can really make you fully understand the realities of life. I did not discern at that young age that we are never really in full control, because we cannot know what is around the corner. We can plan and anticipate, but we cannot know for sure. It could be everything we imagined or something different from our expectations.

Once I was in my 20’s, I was out of my parents house and more or less trying to live an independent life. Alas, that freedom came with a lot of responsibilities, I soon discovered. Yes, there were good times, but there were also adversities to overcome. I discovered then – there is no such thing as complete freedom or ‘utopia’. As the years rolled on, I realized; there is always ‘something’ we have to deal with throughout our lives. Whether it is a health issue, a relationship problem, loss, financial issues or some other problem. There is always something. We just have to learn how to manage these setbacks without losing hope, and without losing ourselves. We have to remain hopeful that things will always get better. We can never despair. This is where my faith helps me. I always try to look for positives in the face of negatives. I hold on to the feeling that ‘This too shall pass.’

I am long past that age of wide-eyed wonder, where I feel that I will arrive at a place where everything is perfect. I have had my challenges as I have alluded to in posts past. I have tempered my expectations. I am now fully aware that life can throw us some curveballs. When faced with any of these, I try to remind myself of the simple things I should be grateful for. We all can find gratitude in even the smallest, seemingly inconsequential routine. Things we sometimes take for granted, that some may be unable to do. Being able to get out of bed, having our mobility, watching a beautiful sunset…or sunrise, and the ability to enjoy another day of life. Or even your cat gently scratching at your feet in the morning to get your attention, as you brush your teeth. What also helps is being cognizant, that we as humans are all connected. Being aware of that fact and knowing that whatever you are dealing with, you are not alone. Regardless of where our life journey takes us, we have to try to remain compassionate towards each other. Never let our troubles diminish our humanity and our ability to be kind to others. Life is not static – that is part of its mystery and wonder. It’s a journey of change. Every day is a gift and an opportunity to start anew.