Acceptance

Coming to terms with acceptance of certain life situations or circumstances is difficult for many of us. Whether it is accepting that a relationship is coming to an end, even if we know in our hearts, the said relationship is no longer the one we felt we knew at its onset. This applies to any relationship; friendship, lovers or otherwise. It’s always sad to admit that something….whatever that thing may be, is coming to an end. It’s difficult for us to accept…this thing is no longer working. Usually by that time, you have invested much of yourself, your feelings, your life – into this said relationship, friendship, dream, or even job.

Acceptance is included in the 12 step program, in the 5 stages of grief, and even in my favorite prayer – The Serenity Prayer…..”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” It’s the final stage in the 5 stages of grief. The Serenity Prayer was long ago adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous to be recited at AA meetings. I am not a member of AA, this is just based on my research. Nevertheless, I understand fully why this powerful prayer would be used at their organization. Acceptance is a process; there’s a reason it’s the final stage of the 5 stages of grief. We cannot move forward until we accept. Then, why is it still so hard for some of us to move on, when we know there is nothing left to hold on to? When that dream of resolution is no longer remotely possible.

There are people in life who disappoint us, who we try so hard to see their point of view and to find the person we felt we knew. We keep searching for glimpses of that person we thought we knew so well, who now seems to be a stranger. Yet; we still keep searching for that ghost from memories’ past. When did this change occur and how did we not see it? We keep thinking with more insight, that person may come to a different point of view, or perhaps meet somewhere in the middle. Or that dream, we built so much of our foundation on, will come to pass. This is where acceptance comes in. At some point, we have to realize that elusive dream or resolution we are searching for, will never materialize. You have to let go, in order to save yourself. 

It’s a difficult reality to grasp, that certain things in life will not come to fruition. There’s optimism and then there’s living in reality. You can continue dreaming or just accept…..that ship has sailed. Yes, acceptance – it takes us a while to get there. We keep circling back, wondering….where did I go wrong? Why did I not accept this reality sooner, and not waste even more time trying to change something that I have no control over. I think that is the time we once again have to look at that beautiful prayer, focusing on that line….”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.”